4 Things I Do When I Feel The Urge to Say “Yes” (As A Therapist & Recovering People-Pleaser)

Things I’ve had to be honest with myself about👇🏼

  • It’s okay to want to say “yes” to others AND it’s important to understand where the “yes” is coming from.

  • We often hear about setting boundaries and IMO, boundaries are not meant to keep people out. They are a bridge to meet yourself where you’re at and give someone the opportunity to do the same

  • We cannot make someone “respect” that boundary and we don’t have control over their reactions.

  • Of course, it’s normal to hope it goes well. But obsessing if someone likes it is lowkey, under covering people pleasing

  • Recovering from people-pleasing isn’t building a cage, it’s about the freedom to make choices.

Sometimes, this looks like acknowledging when a subconscious response happened (and how it kept you safe)…

And choosing to meet yourself with grace, compassion, gratitude, or curiousity…

Again and again.

Here are 4 things I do when I feel the urge to say “yes”:

  1. I give myself time to make a decision.

  2. I get curious what the “yes” vs “no” feels like in my body.

  3. I check in with my Parts and Inner Child to see “who” wants to say yes and why.

  4. I allow myself to human, to make mistakes, and to choose again.

💬 Comment a 💜 if you’re also a human recovering from people-pleasing

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About the author: Sabrina Cruz, LCSW, RYT-200 is a psychotherapist and yoga teacher who truly values holistic care. She supports women to break free from people-pleasing and unapologetically embody their light. HHWS specializes in people pleasing, anxiety, and childhood wounds to help you heal from trauma, reparent your inner child, and embrace your authentic self.

This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not substitute for mental health or medical advice.

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Therapist Thoughts: “I wish more people understood you can have a ‘good’ childhood and still experience trauma.”