Were You Called the “Good Girl”?
The “good girl” who is “mature for her age” and a “pleasure to have in class” grows up to be the woman who:
Always wants to “keep the peace”
Doesn’t know how to put herself first
Is disconnected from her feelings
Hear me out, all of these things served you. A few pros may be you:
Were validated and felt “good enough”
Avoided conflict and stayed “safe”
Made things “easier” in the short term.
I want you to know it’s not your fault you were conditioned to grow up this way.
Many women are conditioned to prioritize others, often at the expense of their own well-being.
But now, it's time to break free from those chains. It's time to reclaim your power and start living life on your terms.
Here's how you can start:
Acknowledge your feelings: It's okay to feel angry, sad, or frustrated, and everything in between. Notice any physical sensations connected to the feeling.
Learn to say no: Start in low-stakes scenarios (Ex: “No, but thank you.”)
Practice self-care: Consider where you can make time for yourself daily. Whether it’s 5 minutes or 1 hour, it adds up.
Consider expectations and beliefs: you've internalized about success, service, and fulfilling societal roles. What cultural or familial you've faced to achieve certain goals or prioritize others' needs?
Remember, it takes time to break free from conditioning. Be gentle with yourself and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. You deserve to live a fulfilling and authentic life.
Ready to reclaim yourself? Book a FREE intro call for therapy today.
Trauma therapy is available for residents in FL, SC, TN, & VT.
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About the author: Sabrina Cruz, LCSW, RYT-200 is a psychotherapist and yoga teacher who truly values holistic care. She supports women to break free from people-pleasing and unapologetically embody their light. HHWS specializes in people pleasing, anxiety, and childhood wounds to help you heal from trauma, reparent your inner child, and embrace your authentic self.
This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not substitute for mental health or medical advice. The image used in this blog post is for illustrative purposes only and does not represent any specific individual or situation, nor doe sit depict a person with a mental health disorder.